Parenting Without a License

Shark Tooth Tale *now with a photo*

I had really nasty teeth as a teen.  They were healthy as can be -- I never had a filling.  But to say they were crooked would be an understatement. My one front tooth was completely sideways, and my eye teeth grew in at the top of my gum line. The rest of my top teeth were just crooked and crazy.  I learned to laugh and smile with my hands in front of my mouth, because of the incessant teasing (people today would call it bullying, but while it was mean it was not totally cruel, if you know what I mean).  So many of my baby teeth would not fall out and my dentist at the time extracted them several at a time. In retrospect, not a good idea as it allowed my teeth to grow in all over the place. But years of orthodontia and I finally got braces at age 16 (what a wonderful time to get them, no?) and I have mostly straight teeth now. My one front tooth went a little crooked again after I had my wisdom teeth pulled, but given then fact that it was totally perpendicular to my mouth most of my youth -- I can deal with that.

I have written before that I worry about Tess's teeth -- they are so crammed together. And like me, the inside of her mouth is very small -- she has a gummy smile and not a lot of space. I never worried about Sam's teeth. His pearly whites are evenly spaced and he has none of that gumminess of the women of the household.

But like me he seems to be a bit slow losing teeth. He's only lost the two bottom teeth, and the adults were half grown in when he lost them so it didn't take long to look nice. And they grew in perfectly evenly. He's had three or four loose teeth for a while, but they aren't about to fall out anytime soon.

Then the other day he yawned and I looked in his mouth with a "what the???" expression. On further inspection, I saw that one of his adult front teeth has grown in already. It has grown in from the roof of his mouth (on the ridge, but as far back as it can be, pretty much the middle).  Oh and it's BACKWARD!!!

So I call the dentist and she pooh poohed me and said that lots of time the adults come in before the baby is gone. I told her that isn't what I was talking about. She hesitated when I tried to explained and asked to see him. One look in his mouth and she says, "wow, you don't see that every day." Just what you want to hear from a dentist!  She then follows up by saying, "well, I've had eight years of higher education and all I can say is that that's just wrong." Gulp.

She had no idea what to do so she's referred him to a peds orthodontist. She asked me to make sure I like this doctor as she sees years and years of visits in our future.  I saw dollar signs. She did do x-rays and all the rest of his teeth are in the right place, but his eye teeth are really high.

I have no idea what they can do for this. Maybe pull the baby tooth and somehow try to make the other one migrate forward?  Can it even move that far?.  Of course I couldn't get an apt. until the end of August.  Until then Sam loves to gross out his friends by regaling them with his freaky shark tooth.

(p.s. this is a weird angle -- up the nose, and his ears look like they are on his neck:))

The best damn raspberry coffin ever

What??  You've never heard of a raspberry coffin? Of all of the projects that Doug has completed over the past two years in the development of our garden -- this is the one that I find the most amusing.

When we had our landscape plan created, we really wanted lots of fruit bearing trees and shrubs. So we have chokecherries and strawberries, pin-cherries, Saskatoons and crabapples. And Doug really, really wanted raspberries. Our landscape planner cautioned about growing raspberries as they have crazy roots that shoot up in the middle of the lawn and grow under fences. She said that given the size of our yard, she'd create some kind of box to grow them in.

So Doug came up with the raspberry coffin. He decided to use wood he had left around which consisted of 2X6's and sheeting from the playhouse. So it's a very sturdy box. It took him a day to build, and then two days to dig the hole. As it turns out it is pure clay where the raspberries were slated to grow, and he could have used dynamite it was so tough. I seriously thought he was going to have a heart attack. But our raspberries have truly been laid to rest.  Want to see a raspberry coffin?

Is it everything you'd imagined it to be? After digging and digging the thing would just not go in the hole, so Doug had to finesse it a bit:

And in the end?  Well in the end all you see are raspberry bushes.  But one would hope that with all the effort he put into the thing, that they will remain contained!

p.s. The hair -- chin length?? Really?  I think that is the worst length on me. I think it makes my face look rounder and older.  But geez, you all seem to like it like that!  So I asked my "in real life" friends (although of course Jill and Emily have seen me in real life!) and they seemed to agree that they liked it a bit shorter than now -- although still long. But the consensus was on the wavy, messy look. Which my mom hates!!  What to do, what to do??

Post mullet reflections

So do you guys remember my mulletization last year?  I always regretted that I didn't get the photo of the mullet, in my inebriated state following the haircut from hell -- photos were the last thing on my mind. It is so hard to appreciate how bad it was. I only took photos of the fixed cut, which while it wasn't the most flattering cut and had a zillion too many layers -- it wasn't that bad. So over the course of the past year I've taken photos of my hair as it's grown out. Self indulgent -- yes. But fun to see and encouraging as all the layers got longer and it was not so choppy.

So here's a year's worth of vanity shots. Starting with the pictures I took a week before the haircut, to send to my mom to see if she thought I should grow it longer. Needed a bang trim here.

Then there was the choppy layered do following the mullet. It's the worst length for a round face!

Here we are about five months later. It didn't look that different  but I was mostly letting go wavy and tidying it with the curling iron. Also -- I kept trimming it to let some of the shorter layers grow down. So it looked shorter here as much because it is wavier.

Around mid-winter it started to look a little longer and more smooth. I also got better with the flat iron!

And here we are today. I need a bang trim, and obviously a more judicious use of sunscreen. But you get the picture. It's been almost 14 months and I think it's grown a lot. But now I can't decide -- do I keep it this length, or do what I had intended a year ago and grow it long. I've never truly had long hair -- the longest is in the first picture. What would you do? Please feel free to link to any photos you think would work. I am open to suggestions!!  

Summer style

OK since I just finished writing about being fiscally responsible, I guess it is just natural that I follow up with a post about shopping. 

Anyhow.

Now that it finally feels like summer here, I feel like getting some new summer clothes. I basically follow one rule when summer clothes shopping. That rule is the whole "no shorts" one. Nobody needs to see my legs. Trust me folks, even at my slimmest (which is now about 10 lbs ago, but that's another post), I don't have nice legs. They are rather tree trunk like with no slim knees to define the thighs from the calves.Theya re also glow in the dark white, since they never see the sun. But oddly enough my thick legs don't bug me much -- I was born with them and no amount of diet/exercise will give me slim shapely legs. I can tweak them, but not fix them.

However, you know, sometimes I get warm. I love me my capris -- and it's so nice to escape from the three pairs of blue jeans I rotate during the rest of the year. I did buy some shorter capris -- they come below my knees - but I am still not really comfortable in them. So last year I bought a few fun knee length skirts. I love them. They are cool and airy and pretty and don't draw attention to my gams.

This year, I want to take that a step further and get some sundresses. But can I tell you -- I can't find any I like. I like jersey or some other flowy fabric that doesn't require the use of an iron. I like them at the knee or just above. Nothing that clings to the gut. Baby dolls are a definite no-no. Is this so hard? Why can't find any cute ones I like? 

So I thought I'd throw this one out to the Internets. Any thoughts on where to get some cute sundresses?

Credit Crunch

One of the best decisions I made as a 17 year old was to get my first credit card. Yes, I said best. I was just watching TV while eating my lunch and one of those ads was on to help people solve their credit crunch. It's not that people were having credit card or debt issues that I find offensive -- everybody has those now and again. It was one line in the ad that got me fuming:

"It's probably not your fault."

I loathe this ad. First of all to see all these people rejoicing that they only had to pay a fraction of what they rightfully owed -- well that makes me a little ill. But the implication that people are not responsible for their own spending habits drives. me. nuts. You spent the money. You know how much you make. Getting into money trouble, getting overextended is nothing to be ashamed of. Not taking responsibility for it is.

I know people want to blame unscrupulous banks credit card companies, for putting their interest rates in tiny print. But it IS there in print. People just don't want to see it. And trust me I am not defending banks -- I just hate this attitude out there that people who spent twice what they make are SO SHOCKED that they are in trouble. Like I said -- it happens, but overspending is not the fault of banks who may charge insane amounts of interest -- they don't make you spend. I so wish people would take responsibility for their own actions.

When I was 17 I worked for a department store and the only way I could get my discount was with their store credit card. So I got one. And I overspent. I bought this AWESOME green leather jacket with massive shoulder pads. It was amazing. Ahem. And some other stuff. I got my first bill and almost threw up. I owed $400. Way, way more than I even made in several months. And then as I paid it down over several months I saw the insane 29% interest rate that was being charged to me. And I learned my lesson.

That lesson was not that credit cards are evil. It was a lesson on how to manage my cash flow and manage my debt. I think I was very lucky to have learned that lesson at a really young age, when it was really only a small amount of money I was dealing with.  Since that time I have paid off my credit card balance in full every single month.  I have one of those credit cards that you get free groceries with when you use it, so I buy everything on my card and I get $100 or more of free grocs every month.  I have a budget that I stick to like a fanatic. Every two weeks I update my spreadsheet -- I've had this same, very basic spreadsheet for 13 years now. And I am sooo not a spreadsheet person.

That's not to say we don't have debt. I have a low interest line of credit for big purchases that I do not want to or cannot wait to buy at a later date. And then I put a line in my spreadsheet for paying that down. We have car loans and a mortgage. But that's it.  We have debt, but it is managed debt.

I realize that I am fortunate that we both make decent wages, although mine is half what it used to be now that I freelance. But we also have perfect credit ratings -- and have no trouble getting the best mortgage rate, a good car loan etc. I don't think people need to have credit cards of course. But I think learning financial management, including how to manage debt, is a good lesson to learn.

Boost me up

Tess celebrated the fourth anniversary of her birth on the weekend. She had a great time at her party, all the girls (and boys!) were totally lovely. And like every year so far, her birthday was sunny and warm. Lots of opportunity for indoor and outdoor play. She has been wanting a Barbie and the Diamond Castle party for what seems like forever, so that was easy to oblige. And she also loves getting her toes done. One of my friends has a business where she does house parties, and she paints elaborate designs (freehand!) on toes. It was a huge hit!

So, as she enters her next year, I have yet another parenting dilemma. She has outgrown her carseat. This is beyond bizarre to me because Sam at five was still well within the seat's parameters. But as we've established -- Tess is really tall. She now measures in at just shy of 44 inches and she weighed herself this morning and she is 40 lbs on the nose. Sam wasn't this size until he was almost six! Her carseat is the convertible kind and it says when they are 42 inches, 40 lbs and 4 -- they need to switch to using the seatbelt as a strap (still in the car seat, but she's outgrown the 5-point harness). To be honest she's been too tall for a while. The top of the harness is not supposed to be below her shoulders and she has such a long torso it's been below her shoulders for ages. But now she's complaining that it hurts.

So why am I hesitating to switch? If she was my first I wouldn't be at all. But Sam was just so much older when we made the switch. And in general, a 5-point harness is safer. But I don't think it's safer if you no longer fit it. I saw online that you can get carseats now that use the harness up to 45 lbs and 45 inches. But do I buy another carseat for this?  When hers is rated perfectly safe for her size with the use of a seatbelt.

She has no clue how to undo the seatbelt (or do it up for that matter) so I don't worry about that. But seriously, she seems just too young.  What has your experience been with switching to the seatbelt on a carseat (I am not switching her to a booster, just the different strap). 

Here are some pics from her birthday weekend (which also included a dance recital and gardening!)

Her dance was an Ugly Bug Ball. She's supposed to be a Queen Ant but I challenge anyone to have recognized that! 

This is Alexa from Barbie and the Diamond Castle. I think that's her name at least!

Happy Birthday song time!

Looking back and shaking my head

It's funny how the oddest thing can take you back in time.  Being a good Canadian I have been watching some of the hockey playoffs. During last night's game, my mind starting wandering back to my youth in Nova Scotia, as I lived in the same community as a little kid who is now arguably one of the greatest hockey players of all time.

That also brought me back to my first boyfriend, who shares his last name, and I wonder if they are related? It is not that big of a town, and how many could there be with that last name? I thought of searching for him on Facebook and then I remembered. And I blushed. I blushed a good 20 years after the fact.

I met this boy in driver training. He was a sweet kid and we got along great. We dated for a good 7 or 8 months. But we're talking seriously a platonic relationship. I can't even remember if we ever kissed. But we had such a good time hanging out -- and I was an unsophisticated 16. When I think about what many 16 year olds today do (and plenty of 16 year olds in my day as well), well, let's just say it would never even have occurred to me to engage in such activities.

But the reason I blushed is that I remembered how I dumped him. And dudes, it was so cold. And even then he was so nice about it. Right before school started in the fall I decided I wanted to date someone else, someone a little more exciting. We didn't go to the same high school, and we lived about ten minutes drive apart. So I called him and asked him to meet me at Blockbuster. Then, in the parking lot for heaven's sake, I told him I thought of him more as a brother and I didn't really want to hang out any more. Then I got in my car and I left.

Seriously -- how stupid was that??  And mean. I saw him the next year at a school dance and he was sweet and nice and friendly with me. Really, he should have told me where to go and how to get there. So, yeah, I don't think I'll be channelling his Facebook page.

What about you? Do you have any cringeworthy breakups?

Now and then

I love finding pictures from the past and comparing them with pictures of my kids today. Not so much because I think we look alike or anything like that. It's just neat that the kids are getting to the age where I remember doing exactly the same activity.

I went to Ottawa this weekend for my dad's 60th birthday and I scanned in some old pictures for Sam. One was of me dressed as Princess Leia since he's OBSESSED with Star Wars. But that's a bit embarrassing so I'll keep that one safely on my computer (I had buns -- big buns).

But I also found a pictures of my first trip to Kennedy Space Center. I was a year older -- but it's basically the same shot. So here's my brother Adam and I (in happening 70s garb -- love the knee socks, it really helps the whole knock kneed thing) and Sam and I. I think the 70s space suit was way more authentic. 

RIP Teegan dog

It's amazing that when the life cycle comes to an end, it ends so darn quickly.  Our nine year old dog Teegan died last night after a very brief, very painful illness. 

I have made no bones about the fact that Teegan has always been a challenge. In fact, last year during an illness we thought about putting her down, and in retrospect we perhaps should have insisted on it. You can read about that and our issues with Teegan in the past here. But that ended up being treatable. Three types of antibiotics and she got better. And she was good for almost a year. But her teeth were literally rotting out of her head. The smell was horrid. About a month ago we decided that if we were going to give her any quality of life -- she had to have them yanked and the gum surgery that was recommended. We went to the (new -- trust me we got a new vet after last year's fiasco) vet and because she was not a healthy dog, with liver issues and an ear infection -- the surgery was upwards of a thousand dollars. Yes you read that right. But we knew she would have no quality of life if we didn't get it done. They extracted 12 teeth and my goodness -- it was like we had our puppy back again. She was happy and full of life. She ran and played and had a blast. She still was emaciated -- even though she ate. We felt guilty for not getting it done before, but we weren't in a place to pay for it before, and to be honest I had no idea teeth would make such a difference.

But you apparently can't make an unhealthy dog healthy. Two days ago I went to lunch and she seemed totally fine. She was cuddled at my feet while I worked. When I got back two hours later after picking up Sam from school -- I couldn't find her. I eventually found her under my bed, lying in a pool of foamy vomit. She wouldn't stand. She wouldn't even raise her head. I looked around and there were eight or nine of these pools of foam. I got her out from under the bed and brought her outside, thinking it was a tummy issue. She went pee, then collapsed on a bit of ice left in the backyard. And would not, or could not get up. I gathered up Sam and Teegan and brought her to the vet. She wouldn't stand unassisted for him and winced and pulled when he got near her belly area. He took blood and said her pancreatic levels were way, way out of whack and asked if she had gotten into anything. Well, nothing that I know of. She never gets people food, and she hadn't been into any garbage or any non-food items. He said it was acute onset of pancreatitis and the treatment was IV fluids, antibiotics and pain medication -- as it's terribly painful.  He said she had to be hospitalized and in 24 hours they would know if she was on the way to recovery, although she'd be hospitalized for a few days.

Fast forward 24 hours. Doug arrives at the vet to see a very, very grim looking vet. He said that Teegan was much worse, and was basically unresponsive. He said they couldn't control her pain with medication. Then he told Doug they could try for another 24 hours, but he didn't think it would do anything, and that it would just be prolonging her pain.  So he called me and we decided to relieve her of her misery right then and there. He said Teegan didn't even react to him holding her, wouldn't raise her head -- nothing. She just went to sleep.

It's been a tearful night in  our house. Tess was totally fine -- I don't think she really gets it on an emotional level. She understands that dying means you don't come back, but that's about as much as she gets. But Sam. Oh my goodness Sam has been a wreck. He asks all these really tough questions (where is her body, what do they do with it, is she in the afterlife now)? They are learning about ancient Egypt in school right  now so he talks about how we should give her jewels and money for her trip to the afterlife. And he cries a lot. In a way it is unexpected since he really doesn't pay any attention to the dogs at all. He doesn't pat them and he moans when he has to take them for walks. But he is very, very sad.

And my poor other dog Ty is so confused. She runs around looking for her pal. We're lavishing her with lots of love. I have no idea what else to do for her.

I know this was inevitable. With Teegan's poor health, I knew she wouldn't have a long life. But I guess I just never expected it to happen like this -- so suddenly and dramatically.  I hope Sam's right -- that's she's found some woods in the afterlife and is chasing a rabbit as we speak.

Logging in *edited*

Sorry for being MIA but let me tell you -- technology is great when it works -- but when it doesn't it's enough to make you want to pull your hair out.  My computer -- which isn't old at all, although maybe three years old is old by computer standards -- has been a total bitch lately. We had a complete hard drive loss, and decided to pay to have it fixed. But in the months since that has happened it has become slower, and slower. It couldn't handle an email with a photo, I couldn't even get on silly applications like Facebook without it timing out.

So after way, way, way too much debate on the subject, we decided to become MAC people. In the past ten days or so, the only online stuff I did was via my Blackberry, so if I couldn't type it quickly it didn't happen. We bought the new machine on the weekend and it was amazingly quick to get everything set up and running. And easy. But of course this is a whole new operating system with a whole new way of doing things, so I expect a big ol' learning curve over the next little while. I hear that AppleCare will become my new best friend. But so far what I've been doing has been pretty easy.  

So what's going on here?  Terribly exciting stuff (note the sarcasm). But I'll fill you in nonetheless:

• My husband took me for the first weekend away we've had together since Sam was 9 months old. It was so nice. We went to Victoria for a long weekend. Doug's sister generously offered to drive down from Edmonton to watch the kids. Of course we left on the only weekend it was actually nice here and it was cold in Victoria!  But it didn't rain and we walked and walked and walked. It was so nice to just hang out together and sight-see. We should do that more often.    
• The weather. Oy the weather. We have yet to emerge from winter. It snows all of the time. It's rarely above zero. I am so sick of it, I cannot even tell you. Calgary is usually an up and down place. We have Chinooks that bring us warmth in the middle of winter and yes, we occasionally get a spring snowstorm. But we've had a grand total of three days of nice weather, after a brutal winter. And I am SO ready to put the snowpants away -- if it weren't for the 10 cm of fresh snow on the ground right now.
• I am off next weekend to Ottawa for my dad's 60th birthday. I am looking forward to seeing them again, and to showing my friend Angela the city (she's joining me!!). I wish I could bring the kids for dad's sake, but alas, they don't get an airline pass like I do (my dad also retires this year -- but luckily I still keep my pass). 
• Tess had me cut her hair off and -- well -- I am not a fan. A bunch of her friends have been doing the chin length bob and she's been driving. me. nuts. to cut it all off. I didn't see the harm -- it would be easy for summer (should it ever come). So we went to have it cut to her chin and my first hint of issues to come was that it took 45 minutes. Her hair is so thick (the hairdresser kept saying she had adult hair) that when she just bobbed it, it was a giant triangle. So they had to layer it under so it would, supposedly curl under. Well, her hair is also wavy so it does not want to lay in a bob despite the layering. It is a pain -- to be honest!  She LOVES it. Like adores it. She loves that she has no tangles etc. I think I am going to work on encouraging her to go back to shoulder length.  But this girl knows her mind. 
• I've had some great new opportunities crop up with my consulting business. I am thrilled. It was deadly slow in Feb/March and I was starting to worry I'd be a victim of the economy. But just as things were looking bleak, a great new client approached me and so I am doing some new, interesting work.   

Well thats' all for now. I'll try to get a real entry in later this week! 

OK Emily -- here's a picture. I had to lightly flat iron this to get it lay smoothish!!!