Parenting Without a License

Random

I just got back from my annual trip to Ottawa to head to upstate New York for some Christmas shopping. As usual we had a fabulous time -- despite a freak snow storm and a mall with no heat. My mom and I always have fun on these trips, and I'm glad we do it.

This is the first year that mom has been in a wheelchair and you know what, it actually makes things so much easier for her. Instead of looking down, trying to navigate her walker without falling, she can look up and scoot around and see what she wants. It's a nifty little thing that breaks into three pieces to fit in the car. She can go faster than I can walk -- and when it got cold out I can guarantee you she did.

One thing you do notice travelling with a person in a wheelchair is that wheelchair accessibility is almost non-existant if the person wants to do anything on their own. I noticed it a bit before when my kids were in strollers, but babies have someone with them all of the time -- my mom I am sure would like some independance. But there are so few places that have automatic doors, and many times the push button to open the doors are behind the door, making it impossible to do if you are alone. Not a single bathroom we went to had an automatic door, so mom couldn't go to the washroom on her own. Plus, even with an accessible stall, only a few had low sinks and not one had low soap or hand dryers. I think we can do better in this area.

*********************************************************************************************************************

Sam is, um, not athletic. He's got good coordination in many areas -- he has a mean golf swing. But running and playing a sport at the same time isn't going to happen any time soon.

The other day he came home with a bruise and a split chin. After some inquiry he answered that he hurt himself in gym class. I wondered what sport they were playing to cause his injury. His response?

"Mom, we were doing this really dangerous pose in yoga today and my arms slipped and I banged my chin REALLY HARD,"

Yeah

**********************************************************************************************************************

One of my former coworkers lost his partner last night from a heart attack. He was only in his mid-forties, and they had been together a long, long time. I am  so so sad for him. But what makes it harder is the fact that they kept their relationship very private. I think most knew he was gay, and most knew that his partner was his roomate (they both worked at one point for the same company, the one my husband works for and the one where I worked several years back). But he never, ever, ever spoke about his home situation.

This has got to make it harder for him to grieve. This intensley private man has to tell people why he's going off work, why he's so sad. I don't think he's "in the closet" per se, but like I said, he is so private.

One thing about this is that when I told my husband he was deeply sadenned for his coworker and wondered if there was anything we could do for him. So for all his vaguely homophobic bravado, I do know that he's not truly mean, and that he sees people as people -- grieving people and not just for being gay. I think Doug's come a long way in this area, despite extremely homophobic upbringing, and for that I am proud.

**********************************************************************************************************************

I want to wish all of my American friends a Happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy your feast!

Three hankie night

Are there any other ER watchers out there? I won't spoil for anyone who hasn't seen it yet -- but I haven't cried like that over a TV show in a loooong time.

Sniff.

Make them go away

I am all for freedom of religion. Seriously -- who am I to say what people should believe in. But I don't think that freedom should extend to invading my personal space -- aka my home, or my time -- to promote your beliefs.

I live in Canada's Bible belt. I know that. I live in a very, very Mormon area of the province as well. But when does this door to door soliciting they do turn into harassment?  This week they have been here three times. Last week it was only once. Twice the week before. There seems to be a push as of late, but we usually get about six visits a month. I have tried being painfully polite -- taking the brochure and then pretending to hear a phone ring. I have tried being firm, I have tried being rude (I'm one of those people who feels guilty for a week if I am rude), I have tried the smile and nod but no thanks routine. I once said I was Jewish in a desperate bid for peace. Doug even once yelled at them to go the hell away and slammed the door in their faces.  As embarrassed as I was by his outburst, we got a month's respite after that one.

A couple of months ago I tried calling the local church (or are they called Temples?  I can't remember), but I was told in no uncertain terms that they could do whatever they wanted in terms of coming to the door -- that our Constitution guaranteed them that freedom of religion. And there are six Mormon churches within five kilometres of my house.

But don't we have a right to privacy? I work from home so I most frquently get visits during the day. But I have had them at 9:30 at night  when I was home alone, and I once had a caller at 7 am on a Saturday morning.

Is there any way to make these people just go away??

Patriotism

After all of this talk of the U.S. election, I thought I would insert (or attempt to insert) a video of Tess singing Oh Canada for my dad.

My favorite parts? When she sings, "we stand on guard for a fee," instead of "we stand on guard for thee." Also I love it that she says, "guard keep out land," instead of "God keep our land.' Ah, my little heathen.

Let's see if this works.

Why?

OK I quite enjoyed watching the election results last night. I got caught up in the excitement. I thought McCain's concession speech was classy, even if the crowd was a bunch of boars. I was so excited that Obama won so soundly. I did many happy dances throughout the evening. But I have two questions.

1) Why on EARTH do people vote against gay marriage? I seriously don't understand it. The answer I keep getting is that it is a Christian thing. But how is this a Christian -- treat all people equally -- reaction? And beside all that -- isn't there supposed to be a separation between Church and State? Do people truly want the whole country legislated by their own personal religious beliefs? I don't get how gay marriage is a threat to heterosexual marriage. I'm going to tell you now -- one of the big points of contention in my marriage is that my husband doesn't think being gay is "acceptable." I don't get where he comes from, and we debate about it at length. But, as he said this morning, that is his issue , he even went so far to call it a hang-up of his -- and he would always vote FOR gay marriage because it is not up to him to tell people how to live.

2) On a much lighter note -- why does Obama do the "Bob the Builder" thing in his speeches. I find the whole "Yes we can" thing terribly distracting. Is it an intentional nod to the preschooler show -- or just a coincidence? I haven't followed his speeches very closely, but I understand this is a running theme.

p.s. -- Yes -- I would say I'd be called a Libertarian today. I always associated that word with people who are far, far, far more socialist than I am -- but when I googled it, it looks pretty close to what I believe in.

Is there something going on South of the border?

OK -- I get it -- it's finally Election Day in the U.S. of A. I am thrilled. As a Canadian, I don't think I can handle a single other attack ad. They're all that's on TV these days. The media has chewed up, torn up and spit out each and every candidate until they all seem like worthless boobs. They have made every issue a do or die situation. I don't get it. Being a member of the media myself -- trust me -- the whole "blame the media" thing gets old. But seriously? I just think they are out of control and are doing no one any favours.  We could also blame the spin doctors as well, but since I am also a spin doctor (my dear husband calls me a propaganda disseminator) I think my self esteem would be totally in the can if I added that in!

I understand that this is a big election. And I am anxiously awaiting the results. But more than anything I just want it done. We had our big election here a few weeks ago. Yeah there was a bit of mudslinging, and yes it was really boring as well -- but at least it was done and over with in a month (at least for a couple of years).

I've had a couple of my American friends ask me how I would vote if I were a U.S. ctizen. I'll be honest -- this time it's easy for me. I am not a rabid Obama fan, but I could not in any good conscience be able to reward the Republicans with a victory. And in all honesty I don't find the McCain/Palin ticket at all palatable, so there you go.

But politically? I never really have talked about my politics on here -- hope I don't lose readers on this one:) But politically I am a classic liberal and that doesn't fit in either of U.S. parties (or the Canadian ones for that matter -- even in the party called the Liberals). I am definitely a social liberal. I very much believe in letting people choose how they want to live their lives. For the biggies that would define me as pro-choice, pro gay-marriage. But I guess you'd call me a fiscal conservative -- even though what I believe is more classical liberal. I believe in small government -- but that a government has a definite role. I believe in fair taxation, but in controlled spending. One of the things that bugs me about the U.S. election ads is that they make anyone out to raise taxes to be pure evil. But you know what? From what I understand, even if the U.S. cut out all it's discretionary spending they'd still be in a pickle. Sometimes taxes need to be raised. But I do believe in the free market economy -- I don't think taxpayers should pay for things that can't stand up on their own. I believe social spending should be kept low and go to places where it will really help -- not just throwing money as a band-aid solution or because real solutions are too difficult to deal with.

OK -- that's enough depth from me today. Does any of this surprise you about me? For anyone who has been reading a while -- did you think I'd think differently?

p.s. -- sorry about typos -- I broke my finger yesterday in the dishwasher and this splint makes it hard to type!  You can laugh at me now.