Parenting Without a License

Back from the sunny south

 Aaaahhhhh. Now that was nice. After weeks and weeks of Doug working non-stop, after an unusually cold and snowy winter so far, we just spent ten days relaxing in Florida. Vacations are now starting to be more relaxing with the kids in tow. They are much more low maintenance, they are fine on the plane, you don't have to lug a tonne of stuff with you, and they are also really starting to enjoy travelling themselves.

We flew into Orlando and spent a few days in the area. We went to Sea World for a day, the Magic Kingdom for a day and then we split up and Doug took Tess to the Animal Kingdom for a day while Sam and I went to the Kennedy Space Center (which for Sam was like visiting Mecca).  Let me tell you, there were no signs of a recession at those places. They are insanely expensive, and I have never, ever seen them so packed. And it's not even Spring Break yet! But the kids enjoyed themselves immensely -- they had grins on their faces the whole time. They didn't even fight, and let me tell you for my kids that's something else (when will they EVER get along???).

But three days there is enough on the ol' pocketbook so we drove down to visit my parents for a week. Very, very nice. Lovely sun-filled weather (chilly nights, but who cares?) greeted us every day. I got to shop at a few of my favorite U.S. stores. I was able to spend some some fabulous time with my oldest and dearest friend and her family. I even got to meet an online buddy.  Wanna know who?  OK -- guess. Here's a picture of her son and Sam playing on the beach. Any guesses?

Doug was able to golf with my dad every day with my dad, my mom and I were able to gab away, seriously a lovely time was had by all.

So now it's back to life, back to reality. It's freakishly cold again here. But spring is around the corner. Right.... right??? Sigh.

The good, the bad and the uuuuuugly

For whatever reason I have been on a bit of  a movie watching thing lately. I think it's because Doug is working so much, I can only get out for short bursts and usually late in the evening. And I do need my breaks -- you know I am like that. So in the last week I have seen three movies -- one was good, one was great and one was so painfully bad I am still getting over it.

The first movie I saw was Twilight. I know, I know. But I waited until it had been out a good long while and sure enough, the theatre was not full of twittering teenagers, rather women of a certain age who are probably too old to read this stuff. I enjoyed it. It was very teen angst-y, and the lipstick on the vampires made me giggle every time. But it was fairly true to the book (i.e. Edward is a freaky stalker) and it was nice escapism.

Then I saw Slumdog Millionaire. Honestly it was one of the best movies I have every seen, hands down. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed it. The performances were amazing, the story unique and the way these people live absolutely heartwrenching. It was emotional without being a downer, a hard balance to get.  I would recommend it a million times over.

Then this week I saw, "He's just not that into you." Oh. My. God. It was bad -- really bad. The kind of bad where you are laughing out loud at the badness of it all. There is no way my gender is that stupid, or that desperate. Ginnifer Gooodwin (who honestly has the nicest skin I have ever seen) is so shrieky and annoying I cannot even explain it. She has absolutely no chemistry with Justin Long -- who never looks anyone in the eye. Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Connelly just are so thin and brittle -- not appealing at all. Ben Affleck can't act his way out of a paper bag. And Drew Barrymore is in this movie for some unknown reason -- she had all of four scenes. This isn't a sweet predictable rom-com. It's just bad.

Any recommendations for next week's movie viewing?

Change of pace --- pleeeease

Sam has a bit of an obsessive personality. Ha -- I just laughed out loud at that one because it is so much of an understatement. Well, we've sort of moved on from Pokemon to Super Mario Brothers. And I am ready to throttle a cartoon character.

His grandparents gave him the much coveted game for his DS for Christmas and now it is all Mario all the time. I've limited his time on his DS, I've even taken the game away for a week but he is so obsessed it's discrupting his sleep. He only wants playdates with kids who can advance his game -- last week it was all about defeating Bowzer. I can't remember what this week's obstacle is.

When I do get him off of it he just wants to play Mario Kart on the Wii. We own a grand total of five games (for the DS and the Wii combined) and somehow my son has turned into a gamer. Particularly if it involves a small Italian man.

So tell me, we are gearing up for a trip to Florida and he wants to spend some Christmas money on a new DS game for the plane. He's planning on a space Mario or a paper Mario or something but I really want to steer him in another direction. He has Big Brain Academy and a Pokemon game but that's it. Suggestions??

Ripped from the headlines

On the one hand, the obsession with Jessica Simpson's recent weight gain is so stupid I can't even wrap my head around it. Although to be honest, the media's obsession with Jessica Simpson period baffles the mind. But the coverage is really bugging me. And while you think it may be the weird way the media finds everyone from Heidi Klum to President Obama to comment on it that bothers me -- that's not really it. That's almost amusing.

There are two things that have gotten under my skin. First of all, it's the way the headlines talk about her "new curves." That's not curves people -- it's fat. Not that I think she's fat mind you -- but what she's gained is weight. In my opinion curves are a good thing. If you are saying someone's become particularly curvy lately, yes that may mean weight gain -- but good weight gain. From stick thin to shapely.

But I can guarantee that this coverage isn't positive. These "curves" are a euphemism for "fat." Everytime I read the word "curves" I get this chill down my spine.

The other thing that bothered me was when I read that her sister said that we shouldn't be calling a size 2 "fat." I couldn't agree more but there is no way in HELL that Jessica Simpson is a size 2. I repeat -- she's isn't fat -- but I'd peg her at an 8. And by calling that a size 2 -- anybody bigger than that would think, whoa -- if that's a size 2, how can I get to the 0 or -6 that everyone else in Hollywood must be?

I personally think that Jessica Simpson could perhaps stand to lose a few pounds if she wants to -- or at least work out a bit. She's not fat, but she looks like the rest of us -- GASP -- imagine that. But what that girl needs is a stylist. She has the worst clothes sense I have ever seen. She has no idea how to dress her body and seems to be clueless as to what's in style. And it's not edgy or off-beat -- it's uuuuuugly.

What do you think of all the attention her maybe 10 lb weight gain is getting?